Monday, April 28, 2008

Shania's Dream catchers

I can't believe It's less than a week til Shania's fun fair. It seems like yesterday that we wheeled Shania into her first fun fair. The look on her face wiped away all the pain that we had in our hearts for that one day. She was in so much pain from the cancer in her spine, but nothing was going to keep her from being there, she was determined to be with her friends at this beautiful event that she had created and lovingly planned out. As soon as she got back to the hospital after that incredible day she got out her clip board and started planning out this years fun fair. She put so much love into this fun fair. How we wish she could be here for this one also, to see that look on her face just once more. She won't be there physically this year, but she will be in our hearts. On behalf of Shania, Karen and I would like to thank everyone that is involved in making Shania's Fun Fair a truly special event in this great community.
Karen, Shannon and I went to Sick Children's hospital Memorial yesterday. This was held at the University of Toronto in one of there older buildings. This Memorial was for families that had lost a child at the hospital in the last year. This building was like an old castle, with it's thick wooden doors and a large court yard in the middle of the building, stained glass everywhere. We followed the signs pointing us to the ceremony through the old corridors. It felt like we would be meeting up with a King or Queen at any moment. The ceremony was in a large cathedral like hall with huge stained glass widows and long steel chandlers hanging down throughout the hall. On the chairs we found paper leaves with pens to write a note to our loved ones, to be hung on small trees up front. Ruth, Shania's Music Therapist started off the ceremony by playing the melody that Shania had wrote while in the hospital. Ruth played the flute along with her friend Jacqueline on the harp. The acoustics of the hall sounded wonderful, with shania's melody wafting through it. It brought Karen and I to tears. Karen later said to me that it had a mystic feel of fog over the still water of a lake. Thank you for that Ruth, very beautiful! Another song that is called "above the clouds", was beautifully sung by Amy and Jen two nurses that Shania was very fond of and had great times with at the hospital. It was great to see some of these great people from the hospital again. We miss them, they had become just like family to us. I don't know how we would have gotten through that year and half without there genuine love, support and kindness. We would like to congratulate Bronwyn and Jes two of Shania's nurses that are expecting new arrivals soon, you deserve all the best that motherhood will bring into your life. It was also great see Julie "Bob" Constantine, Karen Fung, Karen Drysbrough and everyone else there that make this hospital such a special place for our sick children and there families.
While we are on the subject of great Hospitals. Shania had gotten radiation treatment at Princess Margret Hospital to control her excruciating pain from the Neuroblastoma in her spine and legs. We would take the long underground tunnels winding from one hospital to the other for her treatments and back. In honour of what they did to help Shania with her cancer and other children suffering with this horrible disease. I am going to do the Princes Margaret Hospital "Ride to conquer cancer" along with one of Shania's best friends father Robert Graup and our neighbor that used to live across the street from us Richard Hawkins. I would like to thank these good friends for joining us on this 200Km cycling challenge from Toronto to Niagara Falls. Our team is called "Shania's Sunflower of Hope Dream catcher's". It will be held on June 20th-22nd. If you would like to sponsor Shania and her team to help find a cure click here
www.conquercancer.ca
I am going to take a picture of Shania and I riding our bikes together with me, along with one her charms and the training schedule that she wrote up for me to do " The ride for Karen" last year.

I will always believe in Shania I will I will !!
I will always believe in Shania I will I will !!!!
I will always believe in Shania I will I will !!!!!!!!!
With love that is true
Shayne,Karen & Shannon

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Holding hands

Yesterday Karen, Shannon and I sadly attended a funeral for a good friend of ours Steve
Farquhar. We had great times with Steve going on ski trips to Vermont and Quebec. White water rafting in Ottawa, going Camping. We would like to pass on our deepest heartfelt condolences to his family. Karen and I hadn't seen him in a number of years, but the most striking thing that I will always remember about this fun loving character nicknamed (Sparky) was his smile, just like Shania he had an incredible smile that could light up the darkest of rooms and make everyone in it feel good. You will be sadly missed by all that know you" Spark". Shannon talked a lot about Shania on the way home. How she misses her big sister. She mentioned about a time when Shania was starting to get pain in her knee just before we found out that she had relapsed. Shannon had helped her down the stairs by holding her hand and when they got down stairs and started playing together, she said that Shania told her " You know that I love you, don't you Shannon". I think that Shania knew that the cancer was back and wanted her little sister to know how much she loved her. What a beautiful gift to give to her little sister, for which I think she will cherish for the rest of her life. It's amazing how the little things done with compassion, caring and kindness can mean so much and make such a difference in peoples lives. Like the time that they asked that I would put a letter in their envelope mail boxes outside there doors which I did quite often. I forgot to put them in there the in the morning, it was totally my fault, but when Shania woke up and noticed that I hadn't put a note in their mail boxes. She wrote one up for Shannon. I have it in front of me right now and it says "I love you Shannon ( with a picture of two hearts) P.S. Keep on smiling. Love Shania". This is another one of those many little things about Shania, Karen and Shannon that mean so much to me. Another little thing that means so much, was when Shania was near the end of her life. We were at home and we had sleep overs with her every night of that last week. She had a oxygen mask full time by then as the cancer spread in her lungs. We had pillows on the floor beside her bed, that Karen and I would take turns sleeping on every other night. Shania wanted to hold hands, talk and joke about stuff, so we would fall asleep and wake up holding hands together. It was just as comforting for me as it was for her, I think. To be able to let her know how much I loved her and was there for her meant everything to me. Holding someones hand is one of those little things that can mean so much, but we take it for granted. I'm sitting hear listening to Shania's favorite CD, Sunday morning Classics "Loves first glow" with it's orchestral soothing melody's, I haven't listened to it in a while so it's comforting to this sad dads heart to hear again. I just wish I could hold my baby girls hand and see that sweet smile again. Don't let those little moments slip by, make sure you have them, because they can last a life time.
Shania loved this saying and used it often "Smile and the world smiles along with you" it's so true, it's contagious, Shania and Sparky knew this all to well !!!

Keep on smiling :)
Love Shayne,Karen & Shannon